Sunday, May 25, 2008

Frustrations and the Presence of God

Lately I’ve been getting sleepy around ten, but our baby has a feeding at eleven. I’m never fully frustrated about having to get up, warm the bottle, wait for it, get the baby, feed her, change her diaper halfway through, and then feed her the rest; but I’m definitely chore minded about it. (Isn’t task orientation one of the antitheses of present moment orientation?)

A good number of times, while into these night feedings—which we do on the couch with the lights out—I settle into it . . . Then I become aware that, or remember that God is all around me loving me. A freshness in the air. Today this happened a few times. The most prominent moment was when, less than a minute after I changed her diaper for pee, the baby pooped. A wasted diaper. Another change. But I had a happy peace.

Is this a petty testimony? Messy diaper don’t frustrates me—I’m not afraid of mess—just the occurrence of little things that aren’t my way. For example, I ordered a used textbook online that was supposed to be in “very good” condition but came with the previous owner’s name written largely on all the page edges. This irked me. Little things that aren’t my way. Sounds petty when I put it like that.

I need more grace. But I’m grateful for the grace I’ve got.

God let me be less prone to frustration over little things and more prone to remember your omniscient loving presence. And thank you for babies, if that’s how you’re reminding me.

--Paul Corrigan


living stones said...

Paul, thanks for sharing this meaningful and "real" reflection. It's an encouragement to me. I need to be more present, more grateful. I'm grateful for you and your affirming and encouraging me in this kind of spirituality--
--Rickey Cotton

living stones said...

The routine of caring for babies has a way of helping us come to grips with "things that aren't my way." Thanks for reminding me "that God is all around me loving me." I have so much to be grateful for even in the middle of everyday messes and irksome incidents--Anna

Sarah said...

Paul, this is a timely reminder for a teacher facing the last two weeks of school. Tired as I am, Lord, don't let me "just get through" these last two weeks. Let me live them truly and with grace.

Susan Price said...

You struck a chord, Paul. A friend of mine is fond of saying, "Life is so daily." As you so aptly pointed out, that God is in the midst of the small, daily tasks is something to which I need to pay attention also.

I will second Anna's comment on having children. It was a real self-revelation of me--one in which I did not find myself attractive.

Thank you for sharing these moments with us--it was such a good reminder to me now that a grandchild is on the way!

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