A Kind Answer Turns Away Wrath

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 1.15

They get it right every once and a while, those seers, wise men and women. I was reacquainted with this principle from Proverbs, reading an apparently secular self-help book called Verbal Judo which had several strikingly insightful--and surprisingly spiritual!--points about gentle persuasion (largely meaning verbal conflict resolution) (see it at amazon). Here are the ones that seemed most central:

1. The first significant insight: In a conflict, don't react to the words being said instead be present to (or empathize with) the meaning or feeling behind what's being said.
2. But in able to be able to do this: Empty the self and remove the ego.
   

Both of these seem to be contemplative spiritual principles to me. Most often, they are easier said than done, of course.

One time, however, I remember enacting the "kind answer" principle smoothly while working as a cashier at a drive through window of a fast food restaurant. The food was in fact not usually fast, and often customers would arrive at my window angry about having waited so long between ordering and getting their food. One man in particular I remember speaking kindly to and his attitude drastically changing, and so I thought of the above Proverb. But I mention this instance now to point out how easy it was to answer kindly; it was easy because I had no bit of ego at stake. It wasn't me who took too long cooking his food! Unhappily, most instance when wrath comes our way, our egos are very much more involved.

If there is wrath aimed at us to be turned away, either we are at fault and so we're probably not going to simply stop our problem-making or we're not at fault and so we are indignant about the wrath or, and this is probably most often the case, we are "a little" at fault, but not enough (it seems in our mind at the time) to justify the wrath and so we are both indignant and not simply going to stop our problem making. Or something like that. Whether my analysis here is accurate, it seems plain enough that usually our egos are involved. But nonetheless, being kind beyond the question of our ego is what is essential. Indeed, this point seems closely related to Rickey's recent post on kindness. It seemed to me that these points were very practical ways of implementing our core spiritual values in our daily lives, which include, at least for me, plenty enough conflict.

Dear God, let us embody this. Amen.

Double Dutch--or the Importance of Being Still

I was so uncoordinated when I was younger (possibly still fit into that category) that I could barely keep up with one jump rope. Two ropes going in opposite directions baffled me completely. And I'm not even going to address "red hot pepper." Having said that, I will add here that last year when I was the oldest teacher (by twenty years at least) at the school where I was teaching, I was the ONLY teacher who helped my students learn to jump rope in the play yard. I loved it. They loved it. My body did, however, did not love it.

This past year went by in a blur. It was the double dutch of life, I think. One rope was my employment situation, the other rope was the wedding preparations including making the bride's dress. In fact, as the wedding day drew closer, both ropes definitely took on double dutch with red hot pepper. Just to make things more interesting, my older daughter decided she would like to be a wonderful matron of honor if she was great with child as she fulfilled her obligations.

All of this was extremely challenging to someone who functions best with time to sit and think, or, just sit and rest in God's presence. I had to learn to keep on the move without thinking more than it took to get through each day. It took its toll. I woke up Saturday night with a nightmare version of an oft-repeated scenario from school: the administrator confronting me with an area where I needed to grow personally, or professionally. It was well meant, I'm convinced of that. I know the administrator's heart, and she always meant well. But, the delivery was always devastating to me. And I lived in fear of the next "bringing Susan up" episode.

By the time Ellie arrived on August 5th, I was starting to unwind. After August 5th, I just let go. I worked at things, but could not seem to finish anything I started. I spent a lot of time just being still and knowing that God is God.

Now, I think, I am ready to take on whatever He has for me. He has done some healing, and some encouraging. One thing is certain: I must be doing the things that bring Him joy and pleasure, doing the things He has created me to do. And, I must be taking time to be still, and know.

Revised Living Stones Community Document and Invitation to Annual Commitments

Dear Members and Friends of Living Stones Community,

Earlier this year we agreed to revise the guiding community document for Living Stones. After discussing changes with each other and with other members of the community, Rickey Cotton and I have finally managed to finish. We did not finish before the end of spring as we had planned, but here we are now, at least before the end of the summer. This letter is an open-handed invitation for you to review the revised document and, if you would like, to make or renew a commitment to membership in Living Stones Community for the remainder of the year.

Changes to the Community Document

The primary changes that have been made to the document are those that we discussed as a community earlier in the year, on our blog and voice to voice. We have dropped the language of a "rule," emphasized commitment to "values" over practices (in terms of what we are as a community), and made the language of the annual commitment even more gracious than before. The full text of the revised community document can now be found on the community website under the sections "Who We Are," "Core Values and Practices," and "Annual Commitment."

Changes to the Website and Blog

Along with the changes in our rule, we have updated the community website at http://livingstonesweb.net.The website is now intended to be the primary online portal and home for the community. For instance, the blog (at http://livingstonesweb.blogspot.com) has been embedded into a "blog" page on the website, which is why, as you will notice, elements of the blog have been rearranged (the blog can still be accessed at either URL). Please do visit the website and see the changes we've made. Artwork will be re-added in the future.

Annual Commitment

Also updated on the website is the form with which we can make or renew our commitment to and membership in the community. A very simply form follows the commitment statement on the "annual commitment" page. If you would like to make or renew your commitment and membership, upon reading the revised document, including the commitment statement, you may use this form to do so.

To reiterate, this invitation is open-handed. If you do not want to join or continue as a member, please take your freedom as you feel led. You will still be welcome to browse our blog and leave comments. If you would like to make or renew your commitment, I welcome you, thank you, and look forward to journeying together with you in this small way.

On behalf of the community,
Paul Corrigan